The weeks between “ABA might help” and “therapy starts Tuesday” can feel strangely quiet.

You may have a diagnosis in one hand, an insurance card in the other, and a browser full of tabs that all seem to say a different version of the same thing: act early, get support, do not wait. Then you make the calls and discover that there are still forms, authorizations, assessments, schedules, and availability to work through.

That waiting period is real. It can also be useful, as long as the goal is not to turn your home into a therapy program before a clinician has met your child.

Here are a few things families can do while they wait.

Put the paperwork in one place

This is not the most exciting first step, but it helps more than people expect.

Create one folder, digital or physical, for anything connected to your child’s care:

You do not need to organize it perfectly. Just having everything in one place makes intake calls, insurance checks, and assessments move faster. It also lowers the chance that you are hunting through email at 10 p.m. for the one PDF someone asked for.

Write down the moments that are hardest

Before therapy starts, most parents feel pressure to explain everything clearly. That is hard to do from memory, especially when the hardest parts of the day are also the most exhausting.

For one week, keep a simple note on your phone. When something difficult happens, jot down three things:

  1. What was happening right before the disruptive behavior occurred?
  2. What did the behavior look like?
  3. What helped (even if only a little)?

You are not collecting clinical data. You are building a clearer picture for the team that will support your child.

A note like “cried for 25 minutes after tablet ended” is useful. A note like “tablet ended without warning, cried for 25 minutes, calmed when we sat in the hallway with lights off” is even more useful. It gives the clinician a starting point.

Keep routines boring on purpose

When families are waiting for help, it is tempting to try a new strategy every day. New visual chart on Monday. New reward system on Tuesday. New bedtime rule on Wednesday. By Friday, everyone is tired and nothing has had enough time to work.

Pick one or two routines to keep steady instead.

For example:

Consistency does not have to be elaborate. In fact, it usually works better when it is simple enough to repeat on a hard day.

Practice asking for help in small ways

Many children start ABA because communication is hard. While you wait, you can make daily life a little more communication-friendly without running drills.

Look for tiny moments where your child already wants something: a snack, a toy, a show, help opening a container. Pause for a beat. Give them a chance to ask in whatever way they can: words, gesture, sign, picture, eye contact, bringing you the item.

Then respond positively and quickly.

The point is not to demand perfect language. The point is to show your child that communication works. When the ABA team begins, they can build from there.

Protect some normal family time

This part matters.

After a diagnosis or referral, family life can start to feel like one long appointment. Every play moment becomes “practice.” Every meal becomes “a behavior plan.” Every quiet minute becomes a research window.

Your child still needs ordinary time with you. You still need ordinary time with your child.

Watch the show. Take the walk. Let the blocks be blocks. Not every interaction has to become therapy in order to help your child.

Ask the intake team what would help before the first visit

If you are already talking with an ABA provider, ask one direct question:

“What would be most useful for us to prepare before the assessment?”

The answer may be paperwork. It may be a short description of your biggest concerns. It may be a list of current therapies or school supports. It may be nothing at all beyond showing up and telling the truth about what life looks like right now.

A good team will not expect you to arrive with a perfect case file. They will want a real picture of your child and your family.

The waiting period is not wasted time

Waiting can feel passive, especially when your child is having a hard time now.

But these small steps do count. They make the first conversations clearer. They help the team understand your child’s day. They give you a little more footing before services begin.

And just as important: they keep the work human. ABA should not start with a family feeling like they failed to do enough before therapy even began.

If you are still in the early stages, you may also want to read what ABA therapy actually is or walk through the first month of ABA therapy. Both are written for families looking to understand their next steps—without getting buried in jargon.